


XXVII. A Revolution is One Spin 'Round

by BubblyWashingMachine



Series: Every Little Hurt Counts [febuwhump 2021] [27]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, BAMF Number Five | The Boy, Canon-Typical Violence, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Gen, Gun Violence, Minor Character Death, No Romance, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy-centric, POV Number Five | The Boy, Post-Season/Series 02, Siblings, febuwhumpday27, i STRUGGLED with that prompt guys, the prompt is i wish i had never given you a chance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29734437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblyWashingMachine/pseuds/BubblyWashingMachine
Summary: “Better than the Handler,” Five says, “is a very low bar. But it was really my mistake for trusting you, wasn’t it? For thinking that you would be different. That different is better that dead – but everyone who would ever work here is rotten to the core. I guess you can’t change your nature.”“If you think that’s true,” Dot says mildly, “then what does that say about you?”Five hoists the gun up and points it at her smile. “Let’s find out, shall we?”...Set vaguely after season two. Five finally gets his closure with the Commission.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Every Little Hurt Counts [febuwhump 2021] [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137428
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	XXVII. A Revolution is One Spin 'Round

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Friendlyneighborhoodfloof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Friendlyneighborhoodfloof/gifts).



> Hey everyone! Can you believe this is the second-to-last one?? I can't!!
> 
> The vibe of this fic is the song Domesticated Animals by Queens of the Stone Age. Give it a listen!
> 
> Anyway five shouldn't have just let the commission off the hook i thought that was so weird. herb was like don't worry i'm not evil, and five was like ok i trust you good luck
> 
> Dedicated to Friendlyneighborhoodfloof because in the end, this turned out the closest to their suggestion, I think! All your ideas for the prompt were SO good but today I had QUITE the time crunch and I didn't feel like I could do them all justice, particularly the more involved ones, since I only had a few hours to actually write. So I went with something short, sweet, and cathartic! Thank you all so much for your suggestions, I was kinda freaking out about this prompt because it's such a specific phrase, but you all made me feel confident that I could do it! ^^ and I think I integrated it quite naturally! :D
> 
> Enjoy!

Five knows he _really_ shouldn’t be so shocked.

And yet, he finds that a part of him is disappointed anyway – insulted. _The one time I decided to be optimistic…_

Diego is going to be _so_ pissed at him.

“This was inevitable, wasn’t it?” Five asks flatly, not really expecting an answer. The gun in his hands is a familiar model, sturdy, and he knows that when he pulls the trigger it will not fail him. _What a hypocrite I am,_ he thinks.

At the other end of the hallway, Herb and Dot take a step back.

Five steps forward.

“Now, look – just hold on a minute,” Herb says, sweating, tugging at his collar. “The work we do here – it’s necessary! We only do what’s absolutely _necessary_! You understand that, don’t you? You were one of the greatest—”

“ _Necessary_ ,” Five spits. “You think so highly of yourselves.”

Dot holds her palms out, that sickly friendly smile splitting her face. “Come on Five, think about—" What is she going to say? That he should be grateful to them? That he owes them, for leaving him in the apocalypse to rot for only forty-five years instead of forever?

_God,_ Five hates that smile.

He scoffs. “Please. Don’t talk to me like we’re _friends_ , Dot.”

“Look – you don’t have all the context!” Herb says frenetically. “Monitoring the timeline, those corrections – it’s all just part of our responsibility! P-put the gun down and we’ll happily show you. The – the data. Your brother vouched for us, didn’t he?” _Self-preserving bastard,_ Five thinks. _Buying time._

“Diego is a moron.”

Herb splutters. “We – we’re not _like_ the Handler, we’re running things better, more selectively! Isn’t that what you wanted? We’re better than her!”

“That,” he says, “is a very low bar _._ ” Five shakes his head, scowling. “But that was my mistake for trusting you, wasn’t it? For thinking that you would be _different_. That different is better that dead – but everyone who would ever work _here_ is rotten to the core. You can’t change your nature.” Not every establishment needs to be given a new face, new management. Some need to be torn down to the ground so that something better may rise from its ashes.

“If you think that’s true,” Dot says mildly, “then what does that say about you?”

Five hoists the gun up and points it at her smile. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

“Wait!” Herb screeches, flustered. “We can help you! If you get rid of us, you’ll lose all our intel, all our hard work – it will be useless to you! I’m your friend, remember! I’m on _your_ side!”

“The fact that you think I need you,” Five says, “is your first mistake.”

Dot’s sunny smile begins to slip.

“Your second mistake was thinking that there are sides.” Five squints through the eyepiece and takes aim as the two start to scramble away, their pristine shoes, never meant for running, sliding and slipping on the cool marble tiles.

Five fires two shots. Two bodies fall – one dead.

As he expected, Dot is still alive and twitching, and she gasps. Five leisurely makes his way over to her, giving her time to try and crawl, and leans down, smiling while she stares up at him, wheezing. A pool of red seeps into the cracks between the tiles, puddling around his shoes.

Number Five isn’t one to often take pleasure in killing, but. He’ll make an exception. Everyone has to give themselves little indulgences every now and again.

“Hesitating to put your whole operation out of its misery, well, that was _my_ mistake,” he says softly, and aims the gun at her mouth. “I do wish I’d never given you a chance. But hey; what’s done is done.”

He grins widely, sharply. Dot’s eyes widen.

“No hard feelings, right?”

He pulls the trigger, and paints the tiles with the inside of her head.

_Satisfied?_ Dolores asks snidely, ever the critic.

“Very much so, thank you,” he says.

Number Five drops the gun, letting it splash into the steadily-spreading pool. He blinks back to the other end of the hallway, and _finally,_ the alarm starts blaring. He picks up his briefcase, and plugs in the correct sequence – and when, two seconds later, employees rush around the corner and find the two bodies sprawled out, there will be nothing left of Number Five but for a set of bloody footprints.

…

“Vanya,” Five says, popping back up in his sister’s apartment, “I need a favour.”

“Oh, hi,” she says, startled. She’s in the middle of doing the dishes. “Of – of course. What do you need?”

“It’s big,” he warns her.

“That’s fine,” Vanya says, wiping her hands on a dish-towel. “I owe you one, remember?”

Five smiles, and walks over to the kitchen table, putting the briefcase down. “Right.”

“So what—” Vanya does a double take, disgust flashing across her face. “Is that _blood_ all over my floor? _”_

“Ah.” Five hesitates. “Sorry.”

Vanya runs a hand across her face. “Jesus, Five. We _talked_ about this. Should I be worried?”

“No. It’s not mine.” He clears his throat and changes the subject. “Come with me?”

“Fine,” she says. “But you’re cleaning it up when we get back.”

“Yes.” Five points to her violin case. “You’ll be needing that.”

They disappear in a flash of blue.

…

“Just… the whole thing?”

“Yep,” Five says. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Vanya looks nervous. “Should I even ask? And… I don’t know if that’s even _possible_.”

“Trust me, they deserve it. And sure it is,” he assures her. “Just go wild.”

“Go wild,” she repeats, flatly.

“That’s what I said.” Five puts his hands in his pockets and tries not to look impatient.

She chews her lip. “And you’re _sure_ …”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t sure.”

She nods. “Okay. I trust you. The Commission, right? Time assassins?”

“Yes,” Five says uncomfortably. “Them.”

She lets out a breath, and shakes out her hands, psyching herself up. “Alright. I can do this.”

“You might want to hurry,” he says, as gently as possible.

“What? Why?” Vanya starts to panic. “Five, what did you do?”

Five rolls his eyes. “Look, Ven, are you gonna do it or not? Because otherwise I’ll have to invest in a whole lot of dynamite and—”

“Fine,” she says, putting her violin under her chin. “But I want you to blink back at least a hundred metres. Just in case.”

He wanted to see this up close, but… he also doesn’t feel like getting blown up. “Whatever makes you comfortable,” he says, and Vanya sighs.

He blinks fifty metres away. Not like she’ll be able to tell the difference.

He watches her focus. Vanya’s figure begins to sway. A wind picks up, swirling around Five and making him shiver involuntarily – the cars parked around Vanya begin to creak and crumple almost immediately.

The sweet, clear notes of Vanya’s song – it’s not one of the ones he recognises – get louder and louder until Five has to blink even further away and cover his ears. And still he watches gleefully as Vanya starts to glow and hum with white energy until she swiftly slashes her bow through the air and releases it in a beautiful arc of devastating power.

The Commission building, crumbling, begins to collapse in on itself.

He wishes he thought to bring a camera.

Vanya plays again, the air ripping around her, and on her second strike, there is almost nothing left. _She is nothing if not thorough_ , Five thinks, proudly.

At the song’s conclusion, he smiles as she takes a smug bow to an audience of dust and rubble, and then he blinks back beside her.

She grins at him, her hair floating with static electricity, her eyes lit up from within. She’s always cheery after a good demolition. She’ll feel guilty about enjoying it later, so he basks in it while it lasts. “Was that good enough?”

Five shakes his head fondly. “Perfect,” he tells her. “What song was that?”

She flushes, needlessly self-conscious as always. “Oh, a mix – mostly Berg. Though I had to improvise to make time for the—” she loses her words, and instead mimes the action of sweeping her bow outwards, embarrassed.

“Ah. Well, it was very nice,” he says, and holds out the briefcase. “Want to stop anywhere on our way home?” A part of him revels, selfishly, in the unauthorized misuse of the briefcase. Who’s going to report it now?

“Allison’s coming over later,” Vanya muses, carefully taking the other side of the handle. “We should bring back some of that ice-cream she likes.”

“Venice it is,” Five announces. He glances over at the remnants of the smouldering building, forever entombed in the peculiar time-loop of the Commission’s headquarters, its destruction immortalized as if in amber. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Vanya says cheerfully. Five turns away. And then he leaves it behind for good.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it?? I know it's short, but i still think it's good. See you tomorrow for my last febuwhump fic - but definitely not my last fic ever!! Five and Vanya, (and the other Hargreeves: Luther, alice, dongo, bin, and klunk) mean a lot to me. I believe they are what the kids call my 'comfort characters'.
> 
> Oh, which reminds me: I have a playlist for those two. It's called '00.05 + 00.07' and has songs about vanya, songs about five, and songs about their (platonic!!!) relationship. It's in chronological order, starting when Five runs away, up until the end of season 1. I've been meaning to tell you about it but I keep forgetting! 
> 
> You can listen to it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2yZGUQotJbdS97OhDzJ540?si=0f156e67e4364d02
> 
> um, i hope that link works. i don't really know if it will. I never trust AO3 since The Image incident.
> 
> anyway! thanks for reading, and for the LAST time I can say: see you all tomorrow!! :D


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